The reporter of the incident was polishing off the last bits of a sweet roll And coffee when he overheard the conversation between two well-dressed men, who had obviously made a stop at the convenience store to select a few Super Premium cigars from the store's elaborate 1.5 cubic-foot plastic humidor. Two brothers, later identified as Morris and Heshi Liebowitz, the former a salesman and the latter an accountant, and both highly successful businessmen in their own right, apparently noticed something was amiss immediately upon exiting their expensive sedan and entering the GAS 'N' GO.

Morris was quick to remark, "Zumsing iss not quite rright here. Deh humidor mitt de cigars hass been moofed. De gedenks clat deh sales uff de vintage, handmade cigars iss kaput?”

To which Heshi replied, "Vat on earth vould giff you dat impression, Morris?"

Morris, never one to miss an opportunity to display his business acumen, and a master at making presentations to his sales force, stepped up to a counter, pointed at the plastic cigar dispenser, and said, "Look at dis, Heshi. For zeh last fife years our prized Don Francisco Extraordinaire Coronas mitt deh Fleur des Lis haff been prominently displayed over here between zeh Devil Dogs undt zeh Tvinkies. Zat location vuz, vitout a doubt, deh highest traffikked spot in zeh entire shop. Undt now, howeffer, you vill notice, dat deh plastic humidor box hass been relocated to a self-service gondola undt positioned betveen zeh Slurpee machine and zeh Slim Jim display. Vat does diss tell you mein, dear brudder Heshi?"

Heshi, a Certified Public Accountant, but vastly more talented at telling people how to save money on their taxes, rather than attempting to earn money himself, replied: "Vell, Morris, to tell ya da troot, it vould appear to me zat zeh most obvious reason our cigars haff been relocated in closer proximity to zeh Slurpee machine, iss an attempt to keep deh cigars fresher by taking advantage uff deh increased humidity levels in zat location. Haff I not been kvetching undt kvetching for deh last several years dat deh cigars in dis gas station are even more brittle zan zeh vun's at deh supermarket?"

Morris shook his head from side to side and exclaimed, "You vill never be a businessman. Deh telltale signs uff slipping cigar sales are right in front uff your nose, undt you see nussing but vawter dripping frum de nozzle uff a soda machine."

"Doesn't it shtrike you as odd zat zeh Don Francisco cigars, vich ver so highly recommended for zeh last few years by deh nice young boy in charge uff refilling deh store's Vunder Bread display, are now on sale of at haff price? Undt, doesn't it occur to your shtupid brain zat zeh Don Francisco cigars - vich ver allvays locked up for zeh last few years to curtail zeh theft of such an expensiff product - Zat zey are now on a self-service counter vare dey might easily be shtolen? Zat is, assuming anyvun but you or I ver interested in Don Francisco cigars ..."

"Hmm, yes, you may have a verry good point, Morris," Heshi said, while removing a rack of Slim Jims from atop the cigar display and commencing to grovel around inside the box. "Vell, I'll tell you, for mein self, I don't care vether cigars are declining in sales or vether they are not declining. I shtill love cigars, Morris, undt I'm going to shtock up on dees Don Francisicos vile dey are on sale for haff price. I just vish dat dey ver easier to locate in dis farshtunkiner plastic box. It seems like every cigar in deh vorld, except deh cigars vat dey sell in dat old-time shmokeshop downtown, shtarts vit deh name Don. Ziss Don person, whoeffer he iss, he must be deh largest manufacturer uff handmade cigars in deh whole vorld. Morris, gedenks maybe diss iz vy all uff deh cigars in zeh Qvick Mart look deh same?"

"Heshi," Morris said, as he pushed his brother out of the way and started rifling through the cigars, "let me help you look or ve vill be here all day. You couldn't find your own nose if it vuzzn't attached to your face." After several minutes of unsuccessful cursing and groveling, Morris exclaimed in despair, "Ziss izz rridiculous. Haff uv zeh products in dis box are named Don and zeh udder haff are actually Slim Jims zat ver apparently put here in zeh box by mistake. Let's go to deh shmokeshop downtown undt zee iff ve can get zumm real cigars, for a change."

Still ensconced at the rear of the GAS 'N' GO with his coffee, the reporter watched as the two brothers hurriedly exited the shop and drove off without making a purchase. Until this moment, he had just been a casual observer, but he soon realized that he had just observed an important bit of business news in the making that could drastically change the price of a widely traded public stock. He had been there while a story was unfolding, and he had an exclusive on his hands.

As the two brothers drove off, Kashi, the owner of the Quick Mart, came running in from the gas pump island and asked Kashi, the quick mart attendant (who by coincidence happened to have the exact same first and last name), "How many cigars were the two brothers buying today, Kashi?"

"Dey ver buying none, Kashi."

"Did dey see the discount sign on the cigars, Kashi?"

"Yes, but dey ver buying none anyvay, Kashi"

"Kashi, pack up de plastic humidor and all de cigars. The man who delivers the Wonder Bread is a big cigar smoker. Maybe we can trade it to him for a few loaves of bread.

"Oh, and Kashi, make certain you take out all the Slim Jims first - they're still a real hot seller."

The feature story, which appeared on page 141 of the Sunday Bugle, and was later picked up by the Tribune, ran with a headline that said, "Displays of Slim Jims Increase by 100% as Cigar Smokers Return to Smokeshops."